Here is a passage from my 2005 Bestseller, “The Translucent Revolution.”

As with every other area of our lives, there is a symbiotic relationship between the depth of our translucence and the way we view otherness. Translucence naturally shifts our habits of relating, without our doing anything about it. We have less to defend as we come to know ourselves as bigger than our own story, and our relating naturally becomes less strategic. As we see the other as myself, even if only in snapshots, we find that compassion occurs effortlessly. We develop more humor about the idiosyncrasies of our personality. We have less investment in laboriously working things out, and a greater willingness to breathe a sigh and return to innocence. The need to change others relaxes, since we are less tied to them as a source of our well-being. All these things can happen more or less spontaneously as by-products of waking up. At the same time, the attention we bring to our habits of relating can deepen and stabilize our expression of translucence. We can always bring more skillful means, more as an art form than as self-improvement, to our relating. We can become more aware of, and tell the truth about, the old habits that have created separation. These old habits run deep, and they will not necessarily die on their own. Our social environment reinforces them. When we are willing to put awakening into the fire of relationship, it will reveal all old habits and allow them to be released. Says Gay Hendricks:

“I think therein lies the difficulty, as well as the awesome beauty, of relationships. The universe is attempting to meet itself in play. When one person meets another, as that space links up with that space again, it pushes to the surface all the little places where we’ve withdrawn from space. Whether it’s being physically beaten, or starved to death, or criticized, or in beating others, those are the places where we’ve withdrawn and crystallized into mass, and then that has to come to the surface.”
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Here is a passage from my 2005 Bestseller, “The Translucent Revolution.”

vision3Vision is vital. It is the fuel that motivates action. It gives meaning to our lives, the aspiration to reach beyond our limits. Vision tells us where to put our energy, allows us to push through unforeseen obstacles, and, when a group of people work together, it is the cohesive force that keeps them motivated and connected.

Vision also seems to be innate. My nine-year-old son used to have two rabbits. They had never spent any time among other rabbits; they were still babies when they left their mother. We built them a fenced enclosure in our yard so that they could hop around all day on their own. Their very first day in the enclosure, they started to make burrows. No one showed them how; burrowing was hardwired into their DNA. Our cat knows how to chase birds without an instructional video. Pigs roll in dirt; dogs sniff everything.  And human beings . . . they have an innate capacity to sense their own, and life’s, potential, without any outside help. We are born with a sense of wonder and awe that is untouched by the limitations of the constructed world. The capacity to rest in this innocence is what makes childhood a time of wonder, for many the only time of wonder that they ever know. Although unaware of the stresses and disappointments of the adult world, this vision of our true heart is full of wisdom. It knows something about what is ultimately real.
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intimacy2

I’ve been greatly blessed in my life by being with with many great teachers.  I was close for many years to H.W.L. Poonja (people called him Papaji), and it was he who initially asked me to be a teacher of awakening.  I had some fantastic visits with Urgyen Tulku Rimpoche who was at that time the lineage holder for the Nyingma tradition of Tibetan Buddhism.  But my greatest teacher, my greatest guru by far, has been my marriage with my wife Chameli.  It has rooted out habit patterns which no other teacher has managed to do.  This marriage has been a portal to a depth of love and spaciousness that nothing else has come close to.

It has not always been this way.  After Poonja first asked me to teach I returned to the west and conducted “Satsang” for many years.  It’s easy in a context like that, when people gather together to meditate and to receive teaching, to experience a kind of “Big Love”, a love for everyone and everything.  Your heart is open, and you know things to be perfect just as they are.  The challenge I found at that time, which turned out to be true for many other teachers as well, was not at the Satsang meetings, but at home in ordinary human relationships.  The Big Love, the love you feel for everyone, is easy.  It’s the small love, the love you feel for people close to you where we experience our habits of control, closing down, criticism and judgment.  And so it was that I found myself in my early forties traveling the world as a spiritual teacher, but not being able to hold my own marriage together.

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arms

Here is a practice you can use right away, from my book “Leap Before You Look.”

When you notice yourself wanting something from your partner,
Stop and label it.
I need your respect;
I need you to clean up after yourself;
I need you to notice how much I do for you.
Once you become aware of the need for certain qualities in this way,
Give what you hope to receive.
If you are demanding respect from your partner,
Give your partner respect.
If you are demanding to be heard by your partner,
Make a practice of hearing.
If you are demanding that your partner be more mindful,
Try to pay closer attention to each moment.
Shift the attention from the trickle
You hope to elicit from outside,
To the ocean that you can become within yourself.

~

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Please enjoy the following except from an interview I did with Jennifer Hough of Soul Talk radio:

Bliss

Jennifer: Arjuna – I’d love for our listeners to hear – how do you describe how you distinguish that there are things in life that happen that can appear really, really serious, and how do you marry what you just said with those kind of experiences?

Arjuna: Right, right.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Well, first of all let me clarify that of course there is a very, very, very strong tendency in all of us to get very enmeshed in the realm of birth and death, you know, of things being born and dying.  I don’t want to mislead anybody.  I’m not speaking as a human being who is beyond all that.  I mean I’ve got two beautiful boys who are now teenagers and, you know, of course if anything – if a hair on their head was harmed, I would be beside myself with concern.  And I’ve got a wife I adore, and if anything happened to her I’d be…so of course it is completely, completely natural to be sad when someone is hurt or dies.  It’s natural to be sad when 230817206_e6a509864d_msomeone leaves you, and of course if you are having a struggle with money, as a lot of people are today, it’s very, very natural and understandable to feel anxious.  So I’m not by any means advocating or claiming any sort of absolute state of immunity to the human condition.  The human condition is what it is and it’s got its triumphs and it’s got its defeats.
The thing is that what we are discovering now, is that there is a way of waking up to a (more…)

Hilltop-Ranch-vista

I’ve just come home from one of the kindest things I’ve done for my body in 52 years.  Colors look much brighter and sharper than they have before, I can smell flowers and food distinctly, there’s a gentle hunger in my belly that’s no longer a sense of craving, but a health instinct for nourishment.  When I look over at Chameli, my wife, she looks 10 years younger:  her skin is glowing like she’s lit up inside and she’s probably lost 7-10 pounds in the last few days.  For the first time in a long time my body seems to really know what it wants to eat, its natural intelligence has been restored.  Don’t ask me what I’ve been smoking,or what pills I’ve been popping.  I’ve just come home from four days at John Gray’s ranch on the Mendocino coast.  You probably know John Gray’s name as the author of  Hilltop–foodMen are from Mars, Women are from Venus,  the best selling relationship book of all time.  That book has been praised by some as the savior of their marriage and ridiculed by others as overly simplistic, but everyone has heard of it. That breakthrough book has spawned mutliple others.  Just as Gray’s fame as a relationship expert is unparalleled, so his expertise as a health and anti-aging educator is little known.

The four-day retreat, which is scheduled once a month at the ranch, combines several exquisitely crafted elements together into a blend that, in my experience, is unparalleled.  First of all, there is the “Super-Cleanse.”  With a couple of days of pre-cleanse preparation, during your stay at the retreat you eat no solid food.  Instead you take several “Super-Cleanse” drinks per day as well as a host of supplements that helps the body to eliminate toxins without the cravings, headaches and light-headedness that I have experienced before with cleansing.
The second element at the ranch is John’s personal state-of-the art-spa, overlooking a magnificent 180-degree view of the Pacific Ocean.  Two outdoor tubs offer a full body iodine soak (which restore the much needed mineral often depleted from out body by excessive chlorine use) and another super oxygenated lithium soak which relaxes the brain while promoting cellular cleansing of the whole body. Several oxygenated infrared saunas allow a cleansing sweat without the excessive temperature and humidity that we often associate with saunas.  The marble steam room with crystal benches completes the experience . We got two hours in the spa utilizing all of these modalities, every day we were there. (more…)