Here is a passage from my book Leap Before You Look.

Whenever you feel provoked, irritated, or pulled to make a response, Stop. Sit back in the saddle. Scan your body and notice what you are feeling. Seek out any areas of strong emotional tension; feel what is there. If it helps you, label it: Sadness, anger, desire, whatever it may be. Stay with the sensations, Dropping the story—the why and the because. Do everything you can to experience what is here, to the maximum possible degree, for no more than a few minutes. then, relax. feel your interiority as though for the first time. If there’s more emotional tension calling to be felt in this moment, take a few extra minutes to welcome feeling even more totally. Keep going until the charge is gone. Feel yourself now; you are not just a loving person, you are Love itself.

We have all been faced with experiences that seem overwhelming: the anger of a drunk parent; the thrill of a sexual encounter; the end of a relationship. We have learned to say “yes” to parts of what we feel, and “no” to the rest. Long ago, we built a wall in the middle of our emotional landscape. Do we still need that wall today? (more…)

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Here is a passage from my book The Translucent Revolution.

Maria attended one of our retreats a few years ago. Now in her fifties, she has been practicing meditation, which she had learned from a well-known Indian guru, for more than thirty years. She had a very calm, empty, silent presence. She dressed in plain, very sensible clothes, and her gray hair was cut in a short, boyish style. After some days, she told us that her greatest difficulty and disappointment was that she still had strong emotions. She felt herself overwhelmed by grief or anger from time to time, which both she and her husband agreed was a sign of weakness, a lack of depth in her meditation practice. (more…)

Here’s a passage from my book The Translucent Revolution.

The feminine in all of us intuitively knows how to feel. People with more feminine energy (usually, but not always, women), whether translucent or not, have a much greater intuitive capacity to feel than people with more masculine energy. Amy McCarrel also works with women to cultivate feminine translucence:

A woman’s heart is a genius of the moment. If you look around a room of people, women’s hearts are particularly sensitive in this way, constantly feeling what’s mean in the room, what’s closed in the room, what feels good in her body when somebody speaks, the sound of the voice, how relaxed it is, what they’re saying, or if it’s coming from a place of mental tension. It’s happening all the time.

The world is metered by my heart. The way somebody walks down the street: I’m safe, I can relax, or I need to protect myself. Just metering constantly what feels true, a truth meter. Woman can always know, feel, when a man’s words are correct. It’s truly one of the most profound gifts of the feminine, the genius of the heart, her inability to not feel. Everything is washing through. It’s coming in constantly, coming in, coming in, coming in. If something coming at it is less than true, it hits the heart and it hurts. If something comes at the heart that’s true, it washes through, and it opens. Whether I’m completely conscious or not in any given moment doesn’t alter the heart’s receptivity.

This feminine gift, of being able to feel everything in the body, can become contracted if we are caught in the Iago trance, and then it turns into melodrama. Consequently, the feminine in all of us is always afraid to be too much, to feel too much. It is also quite possible to have deep awakening, to be resting deeply in spaciousness, and to still be very shut down in one’s capacity to feel. A traditional masculine spiritual path can be very strong on wakefulness, but very weak on emotional embodiment; masculine-based spirituality has illustrated this for thousands of years. As a result, in most spiritual teachings, the advice has been to remain still, like a Buddha statue, to watch feelings pass, not to touch them. In a masculine approach, deeply feeling grief or anger would simply be a symptom of spiritual immaturity. Hypermasculine spirituality cannot help you to free up feeling, or to feel more deeply, because generally it has been founded by men who are themselves emotionally crippled. (more…)

arms

Here is a practice you can use right away, from my book “Leap Before You Look.”

When you notice yourself wanting something from your partner,
Stop and label it.
I need your respect;
I need you to clean up after yourself;
I need you to notice how much I do for you.
Once you become aware of the need for certain qualities in this way,
Give what you hope to receive.
If you are demanding respect from your partner,
Give your partner respect.
If you are demanding to be heard by your partner,
Make a practice of hearing.
If you are demanding that your partner be more mindful,
Try to pay closer attention to each moment.
Shift the attention from the trickle
You hope to elicit from outside,
To the ocean that you can become within yourself.

~

(more…)

Please enjoy the following practice from my book Leap Before You Look, Sounds True, 2008:

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Call Out in Longing
Level of Difficulty **

On the beach or in the forest,

Or alone in your room,

Call out to the divine to reveal itself to you.

Use your real voice and lips

To call out in longing to know God directly.

You can raise your voice loud:

Plead, bargain and demand.

Take one bold step toward the divine

And the divine will take a hundred steps toward you.

(more…)

Presence in treesI met David in Brighton last November, he attended a weekend seminar I was teaching there. The South of England in November is always a rather depressing experience: I think it rained every single day of my six-day visit. People look down at the ground, hurrying on their way to the closest warm refuge. But David’s story was a particularly sad one.

At the beginning of the seminar I asked everyone to grab a partner and to tell their partner why they were there for the weekend: to set intentions. When they were all done I asked a few people to take the microphone and to share what they discovered with the rest of the room. Dave was one of those who volunteered.

“I’m new to all this,” he said, “Never been to no seminar in me life,” he went on in his London accent. His strong shoulders, simple innocent manner and rough hands told us that he was a working man.

“I came ‘ere coz me mate said it might ‘elp. I work in building, see, wiv’ concrete. Jus finishin’ a job right now on the new electric company plant, and then I ‘aint got no more work. Building work’s almost at a standstill in England… I dunno what to do,” Dave’s chin began to tremble with emotion. “Got me a fine wife at home. Luv ‘er her to bits, I do, and three great kids. But work’s been slow for several months now, and I’m desperate. Don’t even see ‘ow I can get me kids Christmas presents this year.” Now Dave was not just feeling emotional, he was actually crying. Somebody nearby passed him a tissue. He was clearly extremely embarrassed to have broken down in front of a group of strangers. (more…)