This is a practice from my latest book: Leap Before You Look.” This practice is chosen from the section “Intimate Relationship Practices.”


When you find yourself caught in a disagreement
With your partner or a close friend,
When you are arguing,
Trying to be convincing that your point of view is more correct,
Stop and exchange points of view.
If you have been sitting together and talking,
Stand up and change seats.
For five minutes you will represent the point of view of the other,
Vehemently, passionately, fully trying to convince.
Do this with totality, give it everything.
Make sure you include (as the other)
How you feel, what you’re resentful about,
What you want and why,
And what you are afraid of.
After doing this exercise for five minutes
Move back to your original position
Take the point of view that was originally yours,
And see what remains of your dispute.