Deeper Love

Chameli and I just got done with the most incredible week in Greece. We met with 22 single people and couples for an all-out, nothing-held-back dive into the exploration of the Deeper Love. I think this was really one of the best weeks of our lives together.

The incredible beauty of the island of Corfu made this a magical experience, as well as meeting two or three times a day to explore relationship as worship. We also enjoyed one of the most beautiful beaches I’d ever seen, fantastic Greek food and hospitality, a clear blue Mediterranean Sea, and deep relaxation and fun. We’re be doing the same retreat again from June 9th to 16th, 2012. If you think you might be interested, you can let us know today.  See Below.

During the training we played a little game called “ding.” We’ve discovered in seminars that most people get relatively little value from about 90 percent of the seminar, and then their entire life turns around because of the other ten percent. For some people it might even be 97%  to 3%. There are just those brief moments when everything lights up, and when you get the insight that changes everything forever. We call those “ding” moments: we encourage people to stand up, wave and be generally disruptive every time they have such a moment.

Today I am going to share with you the mega-ding moment of the course: the insight that was most powerful for most people. Beware, this blog could end up a little longer than usual.

Its all about how blueberries can save your relationship. (more…)

The word “other” is commonly used in English as both an adjective and a pronoun. As an adjective: “born on the other side of the tracks.” As a pronoun: “if it’s not one thing, it’s the other.” Today I’d like to submit for your consideration the word “other” as a verb.  Examples?  “Dude, don’t other me,” and “she was in a terrible mood, othering everybody the whole evening.

Here is my proposed dictionary entry for the next Merriam Webster:

other |ˈəðər|
1.  to attribute qualities onto another person, often a celebrity in the news, so as to avoid acknowledging these same qualities within oneself:
[as verb. ] hey, don’t other Clinton, most married men  have done stuff like that  | I went to a meeting with the Dalai Lama.  It was great but people tend to other him by putting him above them.

For the last ten days, our latest “otherfest” has focused on Rep. Anthony Weiner, whose name made him a larger-than-life-Disney-cartoon disaster waiting to happen.  Republicans are having a field day, of course, and even the members of his own party are calling for his resignation.  Now don’t get me wrong here.  I’m not advocating sending snaps of your private parts to women you hardly know.  I don’t condone lying, or emotionally abandoning your recently pregnant wife.  Probably everyone, including Rep. Weiner himself, agrees that these actions were stupid, immature, and  hurtful to other people.

We can learn from this and many other current events, however,  by shifting our attention from “what that terrible, despicable, lying rotten good for nothing over there did,” to “why are we getting so upset about this, and giving it so much attention?” (more…)

I havn’t blogged for a while, and there is a good reason why. Here it is.

if you have been following my ramblings on line, you probably know that my wife Chameli and I have stumbled upon a way of being in marriage that is something close to a religious experience. We have learned together to drill down through layers of personality and habit, and to discover a dimension of each other which is divine.  Chameli has become not just my wife or my best friend, but my way of meeting God in human form.

A few weeks ago she was having some unusual symptoms, and the doctor sent us to the emergency room for tests. We filled out forms, she got weighed and measured and labeled, they connected her up to an endless array of beeping machines and drew many little vials of blood.  Then we waited, and waited, and waited.   When the young doctor came back he looked serious, unshaven and as though he had been up for days on end surviving on black coffee. He talked about elevated markers for cancer, and the need for an immediate ultrasound. They wheeled Chameli off on a gurney.  She looked up at me and grinned.  “If you’re not careful, you could get really lost in this movie: being the poor suffering cancer patient.”

We waited some more, this time for what seemed like forever.  Once the technician had talked to the radiologist who talked to the nurse, who talked to the doctor, he came back with more papers on his clipboard.   “Of course, the tests are not completely conclusive,” he told us, in the same tone one might talk about the chance of rain when you plan to go golfing, “There is a sizable tumor, and I’d say you almost certainly have cancer.  You’ll need to get referred to a specialist.  ‘OK?’” he smiled, as though waiting for us to say “Great!  Good job, Doc, just like Gergory House!”  He left the room in which we were now both reeling. (more…)

You wake up early to the sound of birdsong and the waves on the shore.  You stretch slowly, and slip on your sandals and the thinnest beach wrap you can imagine.  You step outside into another dream-day.  Perfect temperature, plump lemons on the tree outside your window, vast blue ocean.  Just in time for the morning meditation session.  “How did everyone get to look so much younger and sooooo relaxed in just a few days?” you ask yourself.

After meditation you run down to the beach, with many of the new friends you have made, and play for a while in the waves. The beach seems like a mirage, which explains why it actually won an award as one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. Did you know that beaches can win awards?! But these waves are here all day, so now its time for breakfast, from a buffet with all local and mostly organic ingredients. Afterward you rest a while, do some stretching or take another swim. The days seem to go all by themselves outside of time, with no pressure and nothing particular to do.

Then comes the best part of the day.  Mid morning you gather with a group of friends from all over the world, who share one precious and rare thing in common: a dedication to living the deepest and most real love that is possible.  Some are single, and some are couples.  There are people here who are married but came without their partner.  There are people in their early twenties, and a few couples who have been together for more than 40 years!  Together, you spend some precious time diving into the exploration of the Deeper Love.  Commitment, monogamy, fighting, boredom, worship, control, criticism, sex, jealousy … everything gets addressed.  Nothing is excluded.  The group is intimate enough that each person can get the attention they need, and gets just the right personalized practices to slip effortlessly into a love with no limits.

For lunch, you walk down the road with a few friends to a local tavern, where you can enjoy a Greek salad, made with local tomatoes, feta cheese and greens grown nearby.  The topics of the morning session spill over into your lunch time talk… everything serves to deepen love.

After lunch you might take a stroll, go back to the beach, have a sleep… your time is your own.  The couples in the gathering might take time to be alone and close, the single people make new friends by the beach and around the resort.  Later in the afternoon we meet again for another dive into the deeper love:  questions, sharing, practices, breakthroughs.  And then to dinner: several courses, with most of the vegetables grown in the resort’s own organic garden.  After dinner you might linger with friends, take a night stroll, or enjoy a glass of wine from the bar.  And finally you kick off those sandy flip flops and sink back into your bed.

This is not just a dream.  It is a reality coming soon, perhaps for you!  Chameli and I are going to Corfu, a Greek Island, with a bunch of Deeper Love friends this June, from the 18th to 25th, and we’d love for you to come too!  It will take place at Alexis Zorba Retreat: go check it out:  Obviously space is limited, so if you are thinking about it, shoot a mail to Maria Vikman and she will fill you in on all the details.
You can pay your $200 deposit here to secure your place.
And, if you have already bought the Deeper Love Retreat at Home, or if you plan to, you will get a $100 discount coupon that you can use towards your balance.

For more details and the small print,  click here

This kind of thing sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?  Sun, sand, deeper love, good food, conscious friends from all over the world.  Its time for all of us to upgrade the dream!photos from Alexis Zorba website


Did you catch our conversation tonight with Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks?  We loved everything that unfolded.

If you missed it, please listen to the replay here.

If you were on the call, please post your comments and reactions with the “Add a Comment” link above

So much love to you!

Arjuna and Chameli

A few days ago, after a particularly exquisite evening with my wife Chameli, I put this post up on Facebook before going to bed:

“I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through.”

When I woke up the next morning, there were the usual offerings of people who liked the post as well as comments. One man had the vulnerability and courage to post this on facebook:

“Thank you Arjuna for this sharing, I feel like [I’m] in front of a choice which is between feeling envious of what you have and I don’t, or instead to decide that ‘I want that too,’ and, as you show, it is possible…”

I was touched.

Over the next days, I got several more messages like this from men: vulnerable men, honest men, rare and courageous men. They came in as private messages on Facebook or through our website, and they all said basically the same thing:

“I read your Facebook post. I want what you have. Show me how to get it.”

So, friends, here it is. The short guide on how to worship a woman, and why it’s the wisest thing that a man can do. First of all, lets pop a few very understandable doubts that you might have. I’m familiar with all of them.

1.    “I’m wounded and damaged in my relationships to the feminine.”
So am I, dear brother, so am I. My parents divorced in a messy way when I was four. I grew up alone with my mother. She did her very best to provide for me, but she was unhappy and insecure. By the time I started to have relationships with women myself in my early teens, I discovered that I had a mountain of resentments, fears, and separation in my relation to the feminine.  The conscious practice of worship can become a part of healing the wounds. (more…)